it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
