they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
