All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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