I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
