is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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