we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
