i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
