glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
