I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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