She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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