I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
