so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
