We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
