I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
