Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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