i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
