He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
