Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
