So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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