my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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