you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
