We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
my liver is dry heaving
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
