the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
