As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
