Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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