I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
