Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
