i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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