She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
