your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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