a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
