Midget sex pt 2 tonight
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Holy sore nipples Batman
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
