it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
