Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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