Is it because I queefed?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
