Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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