I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
