I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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