yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
