Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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