Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
