i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So gin and wine won't be happening again
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
