This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
