listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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