Don't you send me to vm
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
