i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
