I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
