he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
