I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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