so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
